F Yeah Vaguely Live Radio!

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Alex (nerimon) and Jimmy (jimmy0010) attempt to fill the vast irreverent void between coherent discussion and arsing about with a couple of microphones.

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Viva la VLR!
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Alex: It's called the 'Danger Wank'.
Jimmy: Alright, go on, tell me more.
Alex: Okay, so, this is a thing that people do. Basically, you masturbate, until you're just at the point of climax, just right on the edge.
Jimmy: Alright.
Alex: And then, assuming that you're upstairs, or in a different part of the house to your parents, you go, "Mum!" or "Dad!" and then you have to finish yourself off before they get to you.
Jimmy: No. No.
Jimmy: How would you possibly explain that? "Mum! Oh, shit, fuck, oh she's right there."
Alex: Your Mum would be like, "Why did you call me? You're clearly wanking!"
Jimmy: Harry falls in love with Ron
Jimmy: . . .
Jimmy: 's sister!
Alex: Nice save.
Alex: That's a genuine radio item, that you've just come up with. I'm impressed. That's good.
Jimmy: My professionalism is baffling even me at this stage. Maybe I should just break wind. Or vomit.
Jimmy: This obese woman is sitting next to me. I'm not gonna have a go at her. She's fat for whatever reason. I will say, she bought a treadmill, and a chocolate fountain.
Alex: *laughs*
Jimmy: So I can only imagine that the treadmill was there to, sort of, shovel the foot from the chocolate fountain into her gob.
Vaguely Live Radio: 3x12
Jimmy: She's not a real lady.
Alex: No. Just like Lord Voldemort's not a real lord.
Jimmy: Yeah. Lord Voldemort and Lady Gaga: match made in heaven. Bloody claiming ownership to land that's not rightfully theirs.
Alex: Did you hear how Lady Gaga got her name?
Jimmy: She married Lord Voldemort.
Jimmy: I have difficulty gauging the age of children. Like, the other day, I was at work. Some kid pissed himself.
Alex: Right.
Jimmy: And I said, "Someone's pissed themselves. Some kid. I don't wanna clean it up." I put my foot down. And they asked how old he was. I said seven. Turns out, he was two.
Alex: *laughs*
Jimmy: I just don't know.
Jimmy: Right, hello, welcome to the show! It's episode eight. My name is Jimmy.
Alex: My name is Al-
Jimmy: Joining me - Oh. You've fucked that up.
Alex: I thought that I was supposed to say my bit... and you were... okay.
Jimmy: Well, I think that's probably the quickest we've ever lost any air of professionalism in the whole eight episodes.
Alex: You're right.
Jimmy: But we might as well carry on now we're here. Let's not get people's hopes up...
Alex: It's called the 'Danger Wank'.
Jimmy: Alright, go on, tell me more.
Alex: Okay, so, this is a thing that people do. Basically, you masturbate, until you're just at the point of climax, just right on the edge.
Jimmy: Alright.
Alex: And then, assuming that you're upstairs, or in a different part of the house to your parents, you go, "Mum!" or "Dad!" and then you have to finish yourself off before they get to you.
Jimmy: No. No.
Jimmy: How would you possibly explain that? "Mum! Oh, shit, fuck, oh she's right there."
Alex: Your Mum would be like, "Why did you call me? You're clearly wanking!"
Alex: So it's a city within a town within a city, with a postcode that used to be of a fictional town on a TV show.
Jimmy: This is like fucking Inception!
Alex: I found this website called 'Spa London'. It just sounds like a really pretentious spa experience. Which involves eight rooms, which are referred to as 'chambers'.
Jimmy: Ooh. That doesn't really entice me in.
Alex: No.
Jimmy: "Come and spend some time in my chamber..." No thanks.
Alex: So, they get hotter and hotter, those chambers.
Jimmy: Until you die. Until you melt. You just burst into flames in the eight chamber. "I AM THE CHAMBER KEEPER! COME INTO MY... WARM LAIR!"
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